Most of what you'll read about male orgasm denial is written from the woman's point of view – that is, it drones on about how your man will become submissive and obedient and start worshiping you like some kind of deity.

Oh please… give it a rest already!

There are two things wrong with this scenario.

First, it's simply not true in the vast majority of cases (and even if it were true, most women don't want to be in a relationship with a submissive and spineless man); and, secondly, it completely ignores what the man gets out of it.

After all, he must get something out of it else he wouldn't ask for it or agree to let you do it with him, correct?

So, what does your average man get out of male orgasm denial?

Well, on the face of it we have a paradox when we look at a man's typical orgasm. Unlike with us girls, a man's orgasm is generally a one-shot affair. It builds up to – literally – a climax, and then he loses all interest in you, making love, and, in fact, in anything more than turning over and going to sleep.

And while this is profoundly annoying, it's as well for us women to realise our men generally like it as little as we do. Sounds strange for me to say that, I know, but it's true. You might say he could not roll over and could force himself to be cuddly and affectionate, but that's about as realistic as telling a woman to force herself to be calm, pleasant and unemotional during the grotty days of her cycle.

Put it like that, and you start to understand the problem, don't you? It's chemical. Hormonal. He can't help it.

This is where male orgasm denial comes in.

You see, it doesn't restrict his pleasure at all. On the contrary, it magnifies it and lengthens it. Rather than experiencing one fairly short mad rush to an explosive finish followed by a loud snore, he gets to experience the whole thing save for that final release over and over again. As one man wrote, “It's like being half-way to orgasm all the time, twenty-four hours a day… it's incredible“.

That's the first thing.

The second thing he gets out of it is pleasing you. Hard to believe, perhaps, but for a man, one of the most erotic experiences in the Universe is making a woman orgasm. They love the sound of it, how it looks, the way it smells and tastes. Pornographic videos show women having orgasms for a good reason, you know: men like to see it.

The only trouble in “normal” relationships is we all get lazy and by the time we're ready to start the multiple orgasm that's going to make him feel like a God… he's shot his bolt and is snoring away.

With male orgasm denial this becomes a thing of the past. He has no option other than to keep you coming (unless he wants to stop having sex completely, and that's about as likely as his saying “no” to a blow job).

And the third thing is (another paradox), he's going to end up having more sexual activity than ever before.


Well, because you're both going to be feeling much, much closer, hornier and more intimate; him because he's not had an orgasm for weeks on end yet has had the pleasure of giving you dozens; and you because you've been enjoying the orgasms he's been giving you.

To sum up

I'm not going to pretend male orgasm denial is right for every couple or, indeed, every man. Some men simply won't entertain the idea for any one of a number of reasons; and some men claim they simply can't stand the reality even if they fully embrace the idea.

And there are some relationships where something intended to bring you both closer together sexually is the last thing you really want because you can't actually stand even the sight of each other and the thought of getting hot and sweaty together turns your stomach.

However, I've never met a man or woman in a sound relationship who has at least experimented with male orgasm denial who hasn't found it beneficial to their relationship no matter how short the periods of denial were – even overnight, so you let him come in the morning after you've had your fun and let him sleep on it can have profoundly erotic effects way out of proportion to the “effort” you both have to put into it.

Source by Sarah Jameson